Joke of the Day

[Fosgate]

BEER AND SWEET TEA

A woman goes to the doctor all black and blue .
Doctor: "What happened?"

Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk on Bud Light he beats me up."

Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. When your husband comes home drunk on Bud Light, just take a glass of sweet tea
and start swishing it in your mouth but don't swallow. Just keep swishing and swishing until he goes to bed in his Bud Light stupor."
Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.

Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea. Every time my husband came home drunk on Bud Light,
I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished, and he didn't touch me!"

Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?"

[Rick]

George W Bush and Barack Obama somehow ended up at the same barber shop.As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Obama in his chair reached for the aftershave.

Obama was quick to stop him saying, 'No thanks, my wife Michelle will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse.'

The second barber turned to Bush and said, 'How about you sir?' Bush replied,'Go ahead; my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like.'

[Ms. Swimmer]

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?






Because they kept saying Bach, Bach, Bach!

[Sidehiller]

God saw Adam standing alone on the beach. God asked "Where is Eve?" Adam replied "She just went for a swim in the ocean." God said "Oh no, I'll never get the smell off of those fish!"

[revpilot]

Even after the recent Super Bowl victory of the New Orleans Saints, I have noticed a large number of people implying with bad jokes that Cajuns aren't smart. I would like to state for the record that I disagree with that assessment. Anybody that would build a city 5 feet below sea level in a hurricane zone and fill it with Democrats is a damn genius

Larry the Cable Guy.

[revpilot]

our pres.jpg

[2001rmk700]

[aleks]

Whats the diference between mitt romney and a florida beach?





Less flip flops on a florida beach!

[Ms. Swimmer]

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!" The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out."

[Wade]

Originally Posted by Ms. Swimmer

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!" The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out."

He said, sure. I'll get half of what ever the lawyers don't get. Half a fortune will last a man till the final days. For a woman, half a fortune will be a great down payment on a trip to Mall of America.