Pre-season check up

[Ollie]

Stovebolt listed some of the required viewing prior to the sledding season starting.

Here is everything else you have to do get ready for a successful sledding season.


How to get ready for the snowmobile season



1. Go to your local snowmobile repair shop, smile and give the first guy you see $200. This will get you used to spending money there on a regular basis.

2.Remove the muffler from your lawnmower, place it in a metal garbage can and start it up. Put your head in the can and have someone close the lid.

3. Fill a 50-gallon barrel with sand. Lower it into a hole. Now lift it out. If you can, add water to the sand and try it again. Do this 5 times per day. This will get your back in shape for those deep snow stucks.

4. Tie a rope to a heavy-duty spring. Pull the rope repeatedly with each arm until the pain in your shoulders meets somewhere in the middle of your back. This will get you in shape for starting your bud's sled, that he conveniently forgot was out of gas and didn't tell you. It's best to do this exercise while someone is spraying starting fluid into your nose and eyes also.

5. Drink four ounces of cod liver oil mixed with a strong laxative. Dress with long underwear, wool pants, snowmobile bibs, insulated boots and heavy coat. Walk far into the woods without any paper products and wait for a personal emergency.

6. Place your hands in a bucket of ice water for 20 minutes. Put the carburetor from your lawn mower in the bottom of your deep freeze. Now climb in the deep freeze, shut the lid and overhaul it while holding a pen light in your mouth. This gets you prepared to work on your sled in the freezing cold and black of night. NOTE: Advanced riders do this with a leatherman tool.

7. Dress up in your new $350 snowmobile bibs. Pour 2 stroke oil down the right leg, gasoline down the other and Peppermint Schnapps and Beer all over the front. Fill your boots with ice cubes and ask your wife or girlfriend to dance. This will prepare her for the stops at the local bar after a ride.

8. Put on a Balaclava and a full-face helmet. Attempt to drink hot chocolate through the opening. Advanced riders attempt this while riding a lawn tractor in the nearest farmers field.

9. Find a place where you can pay $3.50 a gallon for regular gas; $19.99 per quart of oil; $16 for a hamburger and frozen french fries; $3 for a coke and $60 to sleep in a cold cabin on a bed with springs sticking through the mattress. Stay for two nights, minimum. This will prepare you on the high cost of your future winter trips.

10. Practice explaining to your banker why you need another loan for a $40,000 truck to pull the four $10,000 toys in your $9,000 trailer that you still owe $40,000 on.
__________________

[785rmk]

Originally Posted by Ollie

Stovebolt listed some of the required viewing prior to the sledding season starting.

Here is everything else you have to do get ready for a successful sledding season.


How to get ready for the snowmobile season



1. Go to your local snowmobile repair shop, smile and give the first guy you see $200. This will get you used to spending money there on a regular basis.

2.Remove the muffler from your lawnmower, place it in a metal garbage can and start it up. Put your head in the can and have someone close the lid.

3. Fill a 50-gallon barrel with sand. Lower it into a hole. Now lift it out. If you can, add water to the sand and try it again. Do this 5 times per day. This will get your back in shape for those deep snow stucks.

4. Tie a rope to a heavy-duty spring. Pull the rope repeatedly with each arm until the pain in your shoulders meets somewhere in the middle of your back. This will get you in shape for starting your bud's sled, that he conveniently forgot was out of gas and didn't tell you. It's best to do this exercise while someone is spraying starting fluid into your nose and eyes also.

5. Drink four ounces of cod liver oil mixed with a strong laxative. Dress with long underwear, wool pants, snowmobile bibs, insulated boots and heavy coat. Walk far into the woods without any paper products and wait for a personal emergency.

6. Place your hands in a bucket of ice water for 20 minutes. Put the carburetor from your lawn mower in the bottom of your deep freeze. Now climb in the deep freeze, shut the lid and overhaul it while holding a pen light in your mouth. This gets you prepared to work on your sled in the freezing cold and black of night. NOTE: Advanced riders do this with a leatherman tool.

7. Dress up in your new $350 snowmobile bibs. Pour 2 stroke oil down the right leg, gasoline down the other and Peppermint Schnapps and Beer all over the front. Fill your boots with ice cubes and ask your wife or girlfriend to dance. This will prepare her for the stops at the local bar after a ride.

8. Put on a Balaclava and a full-face helmet. Attempt to drink hot chocolate through the opening. Advanced riders attempt this while riding a lawn tractor in the nearest farmers field.

9. Find a place where you can pay $3.50 a gallon for regular gas; $19.99 per quart of oil; $16 for a hamburger and frozen french fries; $3 for a coke and $60 to sleep in a cold cabin on a bed with springs sticking through the mattress. Stay for two nights, minimum. This will prepare you on the high cost of your future winter trips.

10. Practice explaining to your banker why you need another loan for a $40,000 truck to pull the four $10,000 toys in your $9,000 trailer that you still owe $40,000 on.
__________________

I did step 1, working on step 2.

[Mtn. Drew]

I'll start today! I'm already behind.LOL

[TROUT HUNTER]

So true, I scoff at paying $7 for a burger here in Rexburg, but get me up in IP and I don't even flinch that it is over $10.

[GONE SLEDIN]

Ollie that is some good stuff right there!!!!

[Stovebolt]

I don't care what anybody says, this is one of the funniest posts I've ever read.

The guy is a genius.............

LMAO!



All these things are TRUE to form. Will incorporate into Team Ruptured Buzzard "VISUALIZE/ACTUALIZE" training regimen for deep mountain pow.

I would only add 1 thing, and that would be to:

** If you own a really cool new sled and a nice truck and trailer, try this -

First, put "Stovebolt" in your will. Second, pour gasoline all over a huge Spruce tree planted in front of your living room window. Then, get into your snowmobile duds and fill them with ice cubes. Take your kids little red wagon - or a nice cheap red flat-bottomed plastic sled, or even a cafeteria tray - whichever way you want to go, and climb up onto your garage roof. Drink two of whatever you're having, and then toss a match down into the Spruce tree which should have had time to soak in all the gasoline. As the incendiary conflagration erupts, try to make it back to the rooftop without slipping - because you're kind of under the influence, remember? And finally, launch yourself headlong downslope trying to gather enough speed to clear your gutters and spear the tree at top speed.

This won't train you to do anything specific for sledding season but it will point out a few things to the initiated. 1) That you can read and follow directions on the internet, and can (could have) probably tackled something like R&R'ing the Diamond Drive on your AC M8. and 2) That sledding doesn't seem as stupid to you, your wife or your neighbors any more. **



Thank you, oh wicked wizard of winter wonder!

Stovey
**************************************

Originally Posted by Ollie

Stovebolt listed some of the required viewing prior to the sledding season starting.

Here is everything else you have to do get ready for a successful sledding season.


How to get ready for the snowmobile season



<snip>
__________________

[785rmk]

Originally Posted by Stovebolt

I don't care what anybody says, this is one of the funniest posts I've ever read.

The guy is a genius.............

LMAO!



All these things are TRUE to form. Will incorporate into Team Ruptured Buzzard "VISUALIZE/ACTUALIZE" training regimen for deep mountain pow.

I would only add 1 thing, and that would be to:

** If you own a really cool new sled and a nice truck and trailer, try this -

First, put "Stovebolt" in your will. Second, pour gasoline all over a huge Spruce tree planted in front of your living room window. Then, get into your snowmobile duds and fill them with ice cubes. Take your kids little red wagon - or a nice cheap red flat-bottomed plastic sled, or even a cafeteria tray - whichever way you want to go, and climb up onto your garage roof. Drink two of whatever you're having, and then toss a match down into the Spruce tree which should have had time to soak in all the gasoline. As the incendiary conflagration erupts, try to make it back to the rooftop without slipping - because you're kind of under the influence, remember? And finally, launch yourself headlong downslope trying to gather enough speed to clear your gutters and spear the tree at top speed.

This won't train you to do anything specific for sledding season but it will point out a few things to the initiated. 1) That you can read and follow directions on the internet, and can (could have) probably tackled something like R&R'ing the Diamond Drive on your AC M8. and 2) That sledding doesn't seem as stupid to you, your wife or your neighbors any more. **



Thank you, oh wicked wizard of winter wonder!

Stovey
**************************************

LMFAO!! Where do you come up with this?

[Stovebolt]

Years and years of training.

Oh, and once I spent a week sledding in Iowa.....

hehehe

Yours in snickery friendship

Stovey
**************************************

Originally Posted by 785rmk

LMFAO!! Where do you come up with this?