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LOCKED and LOADED A little something for everyone!

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  #931  
Old 01-09-2019, 04:46 PM
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A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and …...... cola.”
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  #932  
Old 01-09-2019, 04:47 PM
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05900 Has earned a rub and tug from AR05900 Has earned a rub and tug from AR
05900 Has earned a rub and tug from AR05900 Has earned a rub and tug from AR05900 Has earned a rub and tug from AR05900 Has earned a rub and tug from AR05900 Has earned a rub and tug from AR05900 Has earned a rub and tug from AR05900 Has earned a rub and tug from AR05900 Has earned a rub and tug from AR05900 Has earned a rub and tug from AR
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“Why the big pause?” asks the bartender.



The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”
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  #933  
Old 01-09-2019, 11:34 PM
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Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q: What is the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?
A: A Genealogist looks up your family tree, whereas a Gynecologist looks up your family bush.

Q: What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
A: Beat it. We’re closed.

Q: What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
A: One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.

Q: What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
A: You can unscrew a lightbulb.

Q: What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A: A liquor cabinet

Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A: Why are YOU shaking? She's going to eat me!

Q: What's the difference between a hockey player and a hippie chick?
A: The hockey player takes a shower after three periods.

Q: What's the difference between a walrus and a lesbian?
A: One smells like fish and has a moustache, and the other is a walrus.
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  #934  
Old 01-11-2019, 04:15 PM
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After 10 years, a wife started to think their child looked kind of strange. So she had a DNA test done and found out the child was not theirs. She told her husband what she'd found out. The husband replied, "You don't remember do you"? When we were leaving the hospital the baby pooped and you told me, "go and change him", so I went inside, got a clean one and left the dirty one there! The wife fainted immediately
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My Friends call me "Randy" , the rebels can as well as I consider them to be above acquaintance status!
Proudly stolen from Eric W "My strength is the strength of ten for my heart is pure"
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  #935  
Old 01-12-2019, 12:09 PM
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Default Is this the Wiz? Too funny, don't be offended Roger....

A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"

The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?"

The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.

When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50.

This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.

Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"

"We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied.
"She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50...and I get $43 back from Medicare.

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If so, well played Sir!
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My Friends call me "Randy" , the rebels can as well as I consider them to be above acquaintance status!
Proudly stolen from Eric W "My strength is the strength of ten for my heart is pure"
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  #936  
Old 01-12-2019, 05:08 PM
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Personally, I have no beef with vegans!

Pass the Kosher Bacon!

You vegan's can't eat potatoes, they have eyes!
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  #937  
Old 01-17-2019, 01:27 PM
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Did you know, on the Canary Islands there is not one Canary?
Did you know, on the Virgin Islands the same is true?






No freakin Canaries either......
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My Friends call me "Randy" , the rebels can as well as I consider them to be above acquaintance status!
Proudly stolen from Eric W "My strength is the strength of ten for my heart is pure"
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  #938  
Old 01-19-2019, 08:19 AM
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Just for the record, a person born in 33 was 45 in 78!
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  #939  
Old 01-19-2019, 11:31 AM
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Grizz. Been smoking or eating some herb?

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  #940  
Old 01-22-2019, 11:50 AM
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I went to a disco last night.
They played the twist so
I twisted.
Then they played Jump so,
I Jumped.
Then they played come on Eileen so,
That's when they kicked me out???


Mac, no greens consumed or smoked by me, heck I even hate all salads! Now scotch consumption is an entirely different matter!
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