Go Back   Back Country Rebels - Forums > RANDOM, NON ASSOCIATED & FREE > LOCKED and LOADED

LOCKED and LOADED A little something for everyone!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #861  
Old 02-16-2018, 11:09 AM
Grizzz's Avatar
Grizzz Grizzz is offline
SENILE MEMBER
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Gangcouver by da sea
Posts: 8,744
Grizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLP
Grizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLP
Default

A Scottish couple was walking across the meadows. The girl looked at the guy and shyly asked, "Would you like to hold my hand?"

"Uh...well yes." the boy said, "But how did you know?"

She said, "By the gleam in your eye."

They walked a little further and the girl said, "Would you like to kiss me?"

"Oh, my yes!" replied the boy, "But how did you know?"

She said, "By the gleam in your eye."

As they got to the stream, they sat on a stump, the girl looked at the boy and asked, "Would you like to make love to me?"

"Well, oh, my gosh, yes! (gulp) Yes! But how did you know? By the gleam in my eye?"

"No," replied the girl, "by the TILT IN YOUR KILT."
__________________
Support your local cancer agency, you never know when you'll need them!
Rebel #52
My Friends call me "Randy" , the rebels can as well as I consider them to be above acquaintance status!
Proudly stolen from Eric W "My strength is the strength of ten for my heart is pure"
Reply With Quote
  #862  
Old 02-16-2018, 11:10 AM
Grizzz's Avatar
Grizzz Grizzz is offline
SENILE MEMBER
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Gangcouver by da sea
Posts: 8,744
Grizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLP
Grizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLP
Default

Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy the first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?"

Donald frowned and said, "No."

Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom, they could not have sex.

"Maybe they sell them at the front desk," she suggested.

So Donald went down to the lobby and asked the hotel clerk if they had condoms.

"Yes, we do," the clerk said and pulled one out from under the counter and gave it to Donald.

The clerk asked, "Would you like me to put that on your bill?

"No!" Donald quacked, "What kind of a pervert do you think I am?"
__________________
Support your local cancer agency, you never know when you'll need them!
Rebel #52
My Friends call me "Randy" , the rebels can as well as I consider them to be above acquaintance status!
Proudly stolen from Eric W "My strength is the strength of ten for my heart is pure"
Reply With Quote
  #863  
Old 02-16-2018, 11:12 AM
Grizzz's Avatar
Grizzz Grizzz is offline
SENILE MEMBER
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Gangcouver by da sea
Posts: 8,744
Grizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLP
Grizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLP
Default

Three years ago, after my divorce, I found myself in the position of having to buy condoms, something I hadn't had to do for better than twenty years. The selection was overwhelming, and I asked the pharmacy clerk for some help.

He extoled the virtues of latex, ribbed, lubricated, colored, glow in the dark (assuming you can't find it any other way), Magnum size (no laughing), and more.

At last, as he was running out of breath, I asked which condom he recommended.

He replied "The condom made of lamb's intestine has a more natural feel."

I said "Not to us city boys."
__________________
Support your local cancer agency, you never know when you'll need them!
Rebel #52
My Friends call me "Randy" , the rebels can as well as I consider them to be above acquaintance status!
Proudly stolen from Eric W "My strength is the strength of ten for my heart is pure"
Reply With Quote
  #864  
Old 02-16-2018, 11:13 AM
Grizzz's Avatar
Grizzz Grizzz is offline
SENILE MEMBER
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Gangcouver by da sea
Posts: 8,744
Grizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLP
Grizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLP
Default One for the reloaders

In the middle of harvesting, one of the farmhands had to obey the call of nature. He went to the edge of the field and started to pee.

Most unfortunately, he was stung by a bee right on the tip of his manhood.

The pain was unbearable, but he remembered a piece of good advice.

He went to the farmer's house and put his thingy in buttermilk.

At that moment, the farmer's daughter walked in. Her face red, she stood perfectly still looking at him.

"Have you never seen one of these before?" the farmhand asked.

To which the girl replied, "Yes, but this is the first time I've seen one being reloaded!"
__________________
Support your local cancer agency, you never know when you'll need them!
Rebel #52
My Friends call me "Randy" , the rebels can as well as I consider them to be above acquaintance status!
Proudly stolen from Eric W "My strength is the strength of ten for my heart is pure"
Reply With Quote
  #865  
Old 02-16-2018, 11:14 AM
Grizzz's Avatar
Grizzz Grizzz is offline
SENILE MEMBER
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Gangcouver by da sea
Posts: 8,744
Grizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLP
Grizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLP
Default

A newlywed husband had to go on a business trip, and hated to leave his gorgeous, sexy blonde wife alone. The night before he left, he brought home a vi*rator and gave it to her.

"What's this for?" she asked.

"It's for those lonely nights when you miss me," explained her husband, winking. "Just think of it as something to take my place when you need me."

A week later, hubby returns home, and finds the vi*rator in the garbage.

"Honey," he says, "why did you throw it away? I told you, you should use it in my place when I'm gone."

"I did," she said. "But the damned thing Rattled my fillings loose."
__________________
Support your local cancer agency, you never know when you'll need them!
Rebel #52
My Friends call me "Randy" , the rebels can as well as I consider them to be above acquaintance status!
Proudly stolen from Eric W "My strength is the strength of ten for my heart is pure"
Reply With Quote
  #866  
Old 02-16-2018, 11:15 AM
Grizzz's Avatar
Grizzz Grizzz is offline
SENILE MEMBER
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Gangcouver by da sea
Posts: 8,744
Grizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLP
Grizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLPGrizzz Offical PLP
Default

A very proper man started going into the neighbourhood drug store every week and buying 2 dozen boxes of condoms.

Week after week, he would come in with the same order.

One day, the druggist felt he had to say something to the man.

"Wow! You must have the stamina of a bull. Talk about getting lucky! How on earth do you use that many condoms a week?"

The man looked at him in disgust and said, "I beg your pardon, but I find the whole idea of sex repulsive!"

So, the druggist asked, "Then what do you do with all those condoms?"

The gentleman answered, "I feed them to my poodle now she poops in little plastic bags."
__________________
Support your local cancer agency, you never know when you'll need them!
Rebel #52
My Friends call me "Randy" , the rebels can as well as I consider them to be above acquaintance status!
Proudly stolen from Eric W "My strength is the strength of ten for my heart is pure"
Reply With Quote
  #867  
Old 02-16-2018, 01:10 PM
05900's Avatar
05900 05900 is offline
REBEL
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 3,244
05900 Has earned a rub and tug from AR
05900 Has earned a rub and tug from AR05900 Has earned a rub and tug from AR05900 Has earned a rub and tug from AR05900 Has earned a rub and tug from AR05900 Has earned a rub and tug from AR05900 Has earned a rub and tug from AR05900 Has earned a rub and tug from AR05900 Has earned a rub and tug from AR05900 Has earned a rub and tug from AR05900 Has earned a rub and tug from AR05900 Has earned a rub and tug from AR05900 Has earned a rub and tug from AR05900 Has earned a rub and tug from AR05900 Has earned a rub and tug from AR05900 Has earned a rub and tug from AR
Default

Reply With Quote
  #868  
Old 02-16-2018, 01:21 PM
Mac-Daddy-Racing-212's Avatar
Mac-Daddy-Racing-212 Mac-Daddy-Racing-212 is offline
MOTORBOATER
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Cottage Grove, Minnesota
Posts: 5,472
Mac-Daddy-Racing-212 Offical PLPMac-Daddy-Racing-212 Offical PLPMac-Daddy-Racing-212 Offical PLPMac-Daddy-Racing-212 Offical PLP
Mac-Daddy-Racing-212 Offical PLPMac-Daddy-Racing-212 Offical PLPMac-Daddy-Racing-212 Offical PLPMac-Daddy-Racing-212 Offical PLPMac-Daddy-Racing-212 Offical PLPMac-Daddy-Racing-212 Offical PLPMac-Daddy-Racing-212 Offical PLPMac-Daddy-Racing-212 Offical PLP
Default

Like the Friday funnies..

Sent from my SPH-L720 using Tapatalk
__________________
"Lifes tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid"
John Wayne.

"THE TROUBLE WITH TROUBLE, IS THAT IT ALWAYS STARTS OUT AS FUN"


Rest in Peace: Steve Reis, Good Friend (1-17-14)

Rest in Peace: John Seipel, Father in Law (5-7-15)
Reply With Quote
Reply
Back Country Rebels - Forums > RANDOM, NON ASSOCIATED & FREE > LOCKED and LOADED

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:00 PM.

 

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Managed by wDa @ WD ™

Designed by Military Ltd